Sunday, March 1, 2015

5 Food-Medicines That Could Quite Possibly Save Your Life


Posted on: Thursday, April 12th 2012 at 5:15 am
Written By: Sayer Ji, Founder

Though Mother Nature's formulas are proprietary, she does not grant patents
~ Sayer Ji
Some of the most powerful medicines on the planet are masquerading around as foods and spices. While they do not lend themselves to being patented, nor will multi-billion dollar human clinical trials ever be funded to prove them efficacious, they have been used since time immemorial to both nourish our bodies, and to prevent and treat disease.  So valued were these in ancient times that they were worth their weight in gold, and entire civilizations either rose to great power or collapsed as a result of their relationship to them.  
What is even more amazing is that many of these "plant allies" are found growing in our backyards, and often sitting there in our refrigerators and spice racks, neglected and under appreciated.  In fact, many of us use these daily unaware that this is why we don't get sick as often as those who do not incorporate them into their diet. Let's look at a few examples....
1) Garlic – with the increasing prevalence of multi-drug resistant bacteria and the failure of the conventional, drug-based model to develop effective solutions against them (nor accepting responsibility for creating them), spices have regained their once universal reign as broad spectrum infection-fighters with sometimes life-saving power. Garlic, in fact, has several hundred therapeutic properties, confirmed by a growing body of scientific research, which you can view directly on GreenMedInfo.com.[i]  One quick example of garlic's power, is in killing multi-drug resistant tuberculosis (MDR-TB), which the mainstream media has termed the "white plague," roiling the masses with a fear of drug-resistant (but not plant-extract resistant) they are made to believe they are defenseless against.  Last year an article was published in a peer-reviewed scientific journal showing that garlic was capable of inhibiting a wide range of multiple drug resistant tuberculosis strains.[ii] The authors concluded "The use of garlic against MDR-TB may be of great importance regarding public health."  Garlic's anti-infective properties do not end with MDR-TB, as it has been demonstrated to inhibit the following pathogens as well:
  • Amoeba Entamoeba histolytica (parasite)
  • Cholera
  • Clostridium
  • Cytomegalovirus
  • Dermatophytoses (a type of topical fungal infection)
  • Haemophilus Influenzae
  • Helicobacter Pylori
  • Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1
  • Herpes Simplex Virus Type 2
  • Klebsiella
  • Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus A. (MRSA)
  • Parainfluenza Virus
  • Peridontal Infection
  • Pneumococcal Infections
  • Pseudomonas aeruginosa
  • Streptococcus Mutans
  • Streptococcus Infections: Group A
  • Streptococcus Infections: Group B
  • Streptococcus pyrogenes
  • Thrush (oral fungal infection)
This amazing list underscores how important it is to keep a supply of garlic close by!

2.)  Honey – bees produce a wide range of therapeutic substances beyond honey, e.g. propolis, bee venom, royal jelly, beeswax, bee pollen, etc., but this sweet, sticky stuff that we all love to dip our paw into occasionally, is the most well-known and most copiously consumed of them all – and for good reason, it tastes great!  But did you know that this sweet treat is one of nature's most powerful healing agents, as well? Here is just a smattering of some of honey's more scientifically researched health benefits and/or applications:

  • Aspirin-Induced Gastrointestinal Toxicity  (honey  coats the delicate linings of the stomach, preventing aspirin-induced lesions and bleeding)
  • Bacterial Infections
  • Burns
  • Candida infection (despite the fact that honey contains sugar, it demonstrates anti-fungal properties)
  • Conjunctivitis
  • Dental plaque (a recent study showed that Manuka honey was a viable alternative to chemical mouthwash in dissolving dental plaque)[iii]
  • Dermatitis
  • Diabetic Ulcer
  • Herpes-related ulcers
  • MRSA (especially for Manuka honey)
There are many more uses for honey than covered here. Needless to say, replacing synthetic sweeteners or highly processed sugars or high fructose corn syrup with a moderate amount of honey may be a great preventative health step to take.

3) Apples – an apple a day does in fact keep the doctor away, especially cancer specialists it would seem.  For instance, one of the most well-established health benefits of consuming apples is to reduce the risk of colorectal cancer. The more apples you consume, the less likely you are to develop this potentially fatal disease.  To view the 5 studies that reference this relationship, go to the GreenmedInfo.com apple research page where you will also find 50 other health benefits of apple or apple byproducts (e.g. apple vinegar) consumption which include:
  • Aging, Reduce Rate
  • Allergies
  • Allopecia (Hair Loss)
  • Diarrhea
  • Insulin Resistance
  • Liver Cancer
  • Radiation Induced Illness
  • Staphylococcol Infection

4) Sunlight – this one may throw some of you off, but sunlight possesses both energy and information with real, metabolic value and is therefore a source of usable energy for the body – and so, in a very real sense it can be considered a form of food that we consume through our skin by way of its built in, melanin-based "solar panels."  Not only does adequate sunlight exposure result in the production of vitamin D, a hormone-like substance that regulates over 2,000 genes in the human body -- and as a result prevents or ameliorates hundreds of vitamin D deficiency associated health conditions -- but sunlight exposure itself has a unique set of health benefits not reducible to simply vitamin D production alone.  One of the more interesting studies performed on sunlight exposure, based on data gathered from over 100 countries and published earlier this year in the journal Anticancer Research, showed that there was "a strong inverse correlations with solar UVB for 15 types of cancer," with weaker, though still significant evidence for the protective role of sunlight in 9 other cancers. Here are some additional benefits of sunlight exposure:
  • Alzheimer's Disease
  • Depression
  • Dopamine Deficiency
  • Dermatitis
  • Influenza
  • Multiple Sclerosis
  • Psoriasis

5) Turmeric  - quite possibly the world's most important herb. Named "Kanchani," or literally "Golden Goddess," in the ancient Indian healing tradition, its healing properties have been deeply appreciated, if not revered for countless centuries. Turmeric has been scientifically documented to have over 500 applications in disease prevention and treatment. It also has been shown to modulate over 150 distinct biological and genetic/epigenetic pathways of value in health, demonstrating a complexity as well as gentleness that no drug on the planet has ever been shown to possess.
As there are too many health conditions that turmeric may benefit to list, we are listing the top 10 as determined by the GreenMedInfo algorithm which calculates both the evidence quantity (number of articles) and evidence quality (human study valued higher than animal, and so on). Also, the number in parentheses denotes the number of studies on the database demonstrating the beneficial relationship.
  • Oxidative Stress (160)
  • Inflammation (51)
  • DNA Damage (48)
  • Lipid Peroxidation (34)
  • Colorectal Cancer (24)
  • Breast Cancer (60)
  • Colon Cancer (52)
  • Chemically-Induced Liver Damage (34)
  • Alzheimer's Disease (34)
  • Tumors (23)
For a more in depth look at the 1500+ studies on our site on Turmeric (and its primary polyphenol Curcumin), watch the video below and please share it with others if you find the information compelling.





[i] GreenMedInfo.com, Garlic Research Page: http://www.greenmedinfo.com/substance/garlic
[ii] Pak J Pharm Sci. 2011 Jan;24(1):81-5. PMID: 21190924
[iii] Contemp Clin Dent. 2010 Oct ;1(4):214-7. PMID: 22114423

AGEs, Inflammation, and Hippocamapal Atrophy

28 daily 'hits' that predispose us to aggressive cancer growth - NaturalNews.com

28 daily 'hits' that predispose us to aggressive cancer growth - NaturalNews.com

How To Get Rid of Uric Acid Crystals in Joints – Gout and Joint Pain


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Fruit should be consumed only on an empty stomach. It is very useful to include potatoes in the menu (but not fried potatoes). Potatoes have both healing and preventive properties. It can be easily digested and it provides useful carbohydrates and vitamins. Some experts suggest using various juices based on vegetables like – carrot and celery juice.
Don’t forget that water can be helpful too not only for the elimination of uric acid crystals in joints but also for your health in general.

You should also eat:
  • Cherries.
  • Apple.
  • Lime.
  • French bean juice.
  • Celery seed.
  • Berries.
  • Apple cider vinegar.
  • Pinto beans.
  • Bananas.
  • Green tea.
  • Grains like jowar and bajra.
  • Tomatoes, broccoli, and cucumbers.
  • Dark Chocolate, cocoa.
  • Essential fat Omega 3 from flaxseeds, walnuts etc.
Food you should avoid:
  • Seafood.
  • Pulses.
  • Cauliflower.
  • Asparagus.
  • Spinach.
  • Peas.
  • Mushrooms.
Removing Uric Acid Crystals In Joints
Not many people know that cucumber juice is very effective when it comes to decreasing of body temperature and for removing uric acid crystallization in joints. Although you might experience a mild pain when you drink this juice, this is only a way for the body to indicate that there is a process of detoxification. In order to feel the best results you should add celery and ginger. These herbs will reduce inflammation and increase the effects of the cucumber juice.
Remember, all ingredients have to be organic.
Ingredients:
  • 2 ribs of celery.
  • 1 medium sized cucumber.
  • One-inch young ginger root.
  • A slice of lemon.
Preparation:
Carefully wash the ingredients. Slice several pieces of cucumber adequate to your juicer’s capacity. At the same time prepare the celery ribs – make sure they are completely clean because dirt can find its place anywhere in celery. Carve out the ginger root and use half a lemon.
The first results from this mixture should become in a matter of days. Make sure you drink this mixture on a daily basis.



Beta-Blockers Killed 800,000 in 5 Years—“Good Medicine” or Mass Murder?

January 29, 2014 | 363,119 views










By Dr. Mercola
Most people assume that scientific integrity is somehow assured; that there are safeguards along the way, preventing fraudulent research from harming patients.
Unfortunately, scientific misconduct has become a very serious and widespread problem that threatens the entire paradigm of science-based medicine—unless changes are made.
Again and again, papers assessing the prevalence of scientific fraud and/or the impact this is having shows that the situation is dire and getting worse. In short, we have lost scientific integrity, and without it, "science-based medicine" is just a term without substance.
Conflict of interest is another pervasive problem within the research field, and the featured article highlights a case that contains both.
Beta-blockers are drugs commonly used in the treatment of high blood pressure and congestive heart failure. They work primarily by blocking the neurotransmitters norepinephrine and epinephrine (adrenaline) from binding to beta receptors, thereby dilating blood vessels, which reduces your heart rate and blood pressure.
Until recently, the European Society of Cardiology (ESC) also recommended using beta-blockers in patients undergoing non-cardiac surgery.
A recent article in Forbes Magazine1 highlights how medical guidelines based on questionable science may have resulted in the death of hundreds of thousands of patients in just a few years:
"Last summer, British researchers provoked concern when they published a paper raising the possibility that by following an established guideline UK doctors may have caused as many as 10,000 deaths each year,2" Larry Husten, editorial director of WebMD professional news, writes.
"Now, they have gone a step further and published an estimate that the same guideline may have led to the deaths of as many as 800,000 people in Europe over the last five years3...
The 800,000 deaths are comparable in size to the worst cases of genocide and mass murder in recent history."
Guideline Based on Discredited Research May Have Caused 800,000 Deaths
The paper, originally published in the online version of the European Heart Journal,4 is a testament to the dangers of modern medicine, and why scientific rigor needs to be reestablished as the norm. As I've discussed before, scientific misconduct by medical researchers affects real people, living real lives. It could affect you.
When flawed research is used as the basis for medical guidelines, people that shouldn't die do... All in the name of increasing profits to the drug company with reckless abandon and little to no concern for the casualties.
The issue goes back to research done by Don Poldermans,5 a cardiovascular researcher in the Netherlands, who was fired for scientific misconduct in 2011. Some of the strongest evidence for the European Society of Cardiology's (ESC) guidelines on beta-blocker use in patients undergoing non-cardiac surgery came from Poldermans' DECREASE trial.
It's well worth noting that Poldermans was also the chairman of the committee that drafted the guideline (he has since resigned from his position with the task force6). While his DECREASE trial has not as of yet been retracted, the Erasmus Medical Center in Rotterdam stated7 he was fired because he was:
"…careless in collecting the data for his research. In one study, it was found that he used patient data without written permission, used fictitious data and that two reports were submitted to conferences which included knowingly unreliable data."
You would think that once this was known, immediate action would result. However, it took two years before the ESC withdrew the beta-blocker recommendation once the Poldermans scandal had unraveled. This is absolutely scandalous as nearly a half of a million people died unnecessarily due to the delay.
In that two-year span, many European clinicians may have felt that their hands were tied, as failing to follow guidelines can lead to being penalized—even if the doctor knows the guidelines are likely to do more harm than good. As reported by Forbes:8
"They note that more than half of the lives lost—potentially more than 400,000—may 'have occurred after the research was discredited,' though some of the damage may have been mitigated if doctors changed their practice after reading about the controversy...
Cole and Francis argue that much needs to be changed in the application of medical research: 'The aviation profession has led the way in systems to prevent, recognize, study, and learn from professional failures. Clinical medicine is now following the same path. We must develop similar systems for research.'"
Understanding and Weighing the Potential Risks and Benefits...
While some studies show perioperative beta blockers save lives, the featured report found that they're killing people. So which is it? It turns out that both may be true--the BIG DIFFERENCE is that it all depends on whether you have a pre-existing, serious, life-threatening heart condition or not.
If you DO have a pre-existing, life-threatening condition, beta blockers appear to be helpful when you go into surgery. But if you DON'T, they appear to harm or even kill you. o, it’s important to realize that various studies address two very different scenarios:
  • People already taking beta blockers for serious heart conditions
  • People who are given beta blockers prior to surgery, even though their risk is negligible
One study9 opposing perioperative use of beta blockers showed that people who had the highest risk of dying from beta blockers were NOT the ones with the highest cardiac risk, meaning: Beta blockers may have helped those with the most serious conditions, while harming those with little or no prior heart risks.10
The first indication that beta blockers should not be routinely given prior to non-cardiac surgery due to the increased risk of death came out in 2008,11 but it appears that even though cardiology guidelines were eventually changed in both the UK and the US to reflect this concern, physicians continued to prescribe the perioperative use of beta blockers anyway.
Now, the reason for the controversy is that Poldermans has been called out for corrupt research practices; thus, now researchers are speculating that hundreds of thousands of people have been killed by the mass use of beta blockers before surgery.
However, as early as 2009 Poldermans claimed12 that the adverse events are caused by individual physicians using too high of a dosage of beta blockers, and not because of problems relating to his research.
The medical literature and media articles reflect ongoing concern and confusion about whether or not to give beta blockers with non-cardiac surgeries. What the media are missing is that the studies are talking about two different classes of patients.
It’s really all about weighing the risk/benefit ratio. In order to be of potential benefit, the risks associated with heart disease must outweigh the heavy risk and side effects of the drug itself, which is a very limited target population. 
The moral of the story is that patients should push back to ensure the physician sees a definite need before prescribing this, or any other, drug. In this case, it appears that nearly a million Europeans with little or no need were given the drug as part of a routine guideline, and paid with their lives.
How Many Americans May have Been Harmed by Similar Guidelines?
If the claim that beta blockers may be killing some people—those who don’t already have serious risks for cardiac conditions, and who are not already on beta blockers –what is the potential number of deaths in the US?
Fortunately, according to a previous Forbes article13 published in July 2013, US guidelines are less aggressive in their support of perioperative beta blockers. Researchers say more than 30 million non-cardiac surgeries occur in the US each year,14 so if you divide 30 million by the 25 percent that European researchers claim may be harmed by this one-size-fits-all practice, you end up with a number of 7.5 million American surgery patients POTENTIALLY harmed by beta blockers each year.  The numbers could be higher, or lower.
According to the CDC, the total number of surgical procedures performed in the US is 51.4 million, of which 4.7 million are cardiac-related. Using this statistic, the number of Americans potentially affected by dangerous beta blockers is 46.7 million, giving us a potential number of more than 11.6 million deaths each year. On the other hand, we don’t know how many already had a life-threatening heart condition prior to going in for non-cardiac surgery and might have benefited from the drug, opposed to patients whose risk of death is increased by the absence of prior heart disease...
Some validation for the concern that beta blockers is not a great idea for everyone may be found in an October 2013 study15 done in New York, which hasn’t been given much attention. It found that beta blocker use increased the odds of having an acute coronary event. In fact, researchers at SUNY were so concerned by what they found that they commented:
“The results from this study become especially important in view of the fact that beta-blockers are currently recommended by the American College of Cardiology/American Heart Association (ACC/AHA) 2011 guidelines regarding cardiac risk and management before, during and after surgery,"
Paper Removed for Peer Review
Interestingly, the paper that summarized the action taken to stop using the drug that was killing hundreds of thousands was quickly removed from the European Heart Journal's website, without explanation. Husten followed up with the journal, and was told that, due to an oversight, the paper had not been peer-reviewed prior to publication.
This is standard procedure for any article containing "scientific statements." The question is whether the paper actually contained statements in need of peer-review in the first place. Based on the reply from the paper's authors, this could be a matter of debate. Husten writes:
"The authors of the 'disappeared' article, Graham Cole and Darrel Francis, sent the following statement: 'Our article is a narrative of events with a timeline figure and a context figure. We had not considered it to contain scientific statements, but we admit that it does multiply together three published numbers...
The first of our two EHJ articles merely says that our community, which races to take credit when research-led therapy improves survival, must be equally attentive to the possibility of harm. The leverage of leadership means the magnitude of either may be far from trivial. Where our article relayed numbers, we made clear that alternative values were possible. The focus for readers was on how serious the consequences can be when clinical research goes wrong...
We admire Prof Lüscher's diligence in sending for peer review what we thought was merely multiplication. We await the review of the pair of articles. The first narrated one instance of a pervasive problem. The second suggests what each of us can do to reduce recurrences.'"
Research Claims an Apple a Day Is Comparable to Daily Statin Use
In related news, a recent study published in the British Medical Journal (BMJ)16 found that simply eating an apple a day might help prevent cardiovascular-related deaths in those over 50 to a similar degree as using a daily statin. This reminds me of the recent analysis17 that found exercise is just as potent as medications for pre-diabetes and heart disease. In fact, the evidence was so strong, the researchers suggested that drug companies ought to be required to include exercise for comparison when conducting clinical trials for new drugs. Perhaps diet ought to be a standard comparator as well?
As reported by Medical News Today,18 there's plenty of research suggesting that statins will reduce your risk of a vascular event like heart attack and stroke, even if you don't have an underlying risk of cardiovascular problems. Such questionable research is being used to push for more widespread use of the drugs. But just how valuable is such research, once you compare it to something as simple as adding an apple to your diet?
"...[T]he investigators decided to see how widespread use of statins would impact the rate of vascular mortality in the over-50 UK population, and they compared this with the effects of apple consumption... From their calculations, they found that if 17.6 million people in the UK took a statin a day, this would reduce the number of vascular deaths by 9,400. If the whole over-50 UK population (22 million) ate an apple a day, this could reduce the annual number of vascular deaths by 8,500.
But the researchers took into account the side effects of statin use, stating that prescribing a statin to everyone over the age of 50 could lead to over 1,000 extra cases of muscle disease (myopathy) and more than 10,000 additional cases of diabetes..."
Beware of New Cholesterol Guidelines
One in four Americans over the age of 45 currently take a statin drug, despite the fact that there are over 900 studies proving their adverse effects, and recently updated treatment guidelines for high cholesterol will likely DOUBLE the number of Americans being prescribed these dangerous drugs.
While they're trying to sell these new cholesterol guidelines as being focused on prevention through lifestyle modifications along with statin therapy, this is a gross misapplication of the word "prevention," as these drugs cannot possibly address the underlying conditions of heart or cardiovascular disease. (Even more egregious, it completely ignores recent research showing that statins can effectively nullify the benefits of exercise, which is one of the primary heart disease prevention strategies.)
It's also important to know that the cardiovascular risk calculator used to determine whether you are a candidate for statin drug treatment under these new guidelines (which ignores your cholesterol level), is seriously flawed. Until or unless the calculator is revised, it may overestimate your cardiovascular health risk by anywhere from 75 to 150 percent! Basically, it is currently calibrated in such a way that virtually everyone will qualify for statin treatment, no matter how healthy you are.
How to Get Solid Information in an Era of Confusion and Corruption
Ultimately, the take-home message here is that even if a drug or treatment is "backed by science," this in absolutely no way guarantees it is safe or effective. Likewise, if an alternative treatment has not been published in a medical journal, it does not mean it is unsafe or ineffective. Exercising and eating more fresh fruits and vegetables may be just as effective as a drug treatment, as some studies have shown. That is why it is so crucial to have a philosophical framework to assist you in evaluating all these studies that can fire off your alarm signals if it violates those guidelines.
You've got to use all the resources available to you, including your own common sense and reason, true experts' advice, and other's experiences, to determine what medical treatment or advice will be best for you in any given situation. I advise you to remain skeptical but open -- even if it is something I'm saying, you need to realize that YOU are responsible for your and your family's health, not me, and certainly not drug companies trying to sell their wares and convince you to take dangerous "symptom-cover-ups" disguised as science-based solutions.
Since it is very well established that most prescribed drugs do absolutely nothing to treat the cause of disease, it would be prudent to exercise the precautionary principle when evaluating ANY new drug claim, as it will more than likely be seriously flawed, biased, or worse.
If you're facing a health challenge, it is best to identify a qualified natural health consultant—someone who really understands health at a foundational level and has had extensive experience in helping others resolve their health care challenges. Just make sure to see a competent regular physician to make certain serious disorders like cancer are ruled out as well.
Basic Tenets of Optimal Health
I have provided some general conclusions I have reached after seeing 25,000 patients and actively seeking to achieve a high level of wellness myself. Hopefully, you can use these as a starting point to develop your own personalized philosophical framework that can help you sort through any existing or new health recommendations as an additional filter, to help you determine if they are valid or not. We clearly want to learn from others' mistakes. No need to blindly follow medical advice that has killed hundreds of thousands.
  1. Eat a healthy diet focused on fresh, whole foods (ideally organic and/or locally grown). Try to eat a large portion of your food raw. You want to pay careful attention to keeping your insulin levels down, which means avoiding sugars and grains of all kinds, and replacing the lost carbs with healthful fats. Also, be mindful of your protein sources, making sure they're of high quality (ideally organically-raised and pasture-fed). A high-fat, moderate-protein, low-carb diet is likely to improve the health of most people. My optimized Nutritional Plan can guide you, whether you're at a beginner or advanced level.
  2. Consume healthy fat. The science is loud and clear on this point: omega-3 fats are essential for optimal health. Unfortunately, most fish commercially available today are polluted with mercury, PCBs, and other toxic substances, which is why I recommend you take a supplement like krill oil instead of getting it from your food. Other healthy fats include coconut oil, avocados, olives, olive oil, butter and macadamia nuts. All these fats are low in protein and carbs and will not impair insulin, leptin or mTOR.
  3. Make clean, pure water your primary beverage, and steer clear of all sweetened and/or flavored beverages, including those that contain artificial sweeteners
  4. Manage your stress. There are many effective stress-relieving tools out there, but I have found energy psychology approaches like the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to be very helpful.
  5. Exercise regularly. Ideally, you want a comprehensive fitness regimen that includes stretching, high intensity interval training, core strengthening exercises, and strength training
  6. Get plenty of appropriate sun exposure to optimize your vitamin D levels naturally. UV exposure also has additional health benefits beyond vitamin D production. A robust and growing body of research clearly shows that vitamin D is absolutely critical for your health. The D*Action project has been initiated by GrassrootsHealth along with 42 leading vitamin D researchers to demonstrate how health can be achieved right now with what's known about vitamin D with a combination of vitamin D measurement and health outcome tracking. To learn more, please see this recent article.
  7. Limit your exposure to toxins of all kinds. The number of toxic chemicals and their sources is so large, addressing them all could easily require an entire library, but I believe you can help you keep your toxic load as low as possible by becoming an informed and vigilant consumer. This includes tossing out your toxic household cleaners, soaps, personal hygiene products, air fresheners, bug sprays, lawn pesticides, and insecticides, just to name a few, and replacing them with non-toxic alternatives
  8. Get plenty of quality sleep. Scientists have discovered that your circadian rhythms regulate the energy levels in your cells. In addition, the proteins involved with your circadian rhythm and metabolism are intrinsically linked and dependent upon each other. Therefore, when your circadian rhythm is disrupted, it can have a profound influence on your physical health. For example, research has also linked disrupted sleep cycles to serious health problems like depression, coronary heart diseases, and even cancer. If you have any kind of sleep problem, whether you're having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, my article "33 Secrets to a Good Night's Sleep" is packed with great tips to help you finally get some good rest.


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Among them, you'll be benefiting and supporting the actions of:
  • National Vaccine Information Center (NVIC) – A non-profit organization that seeks to prevent vaccine injuries and deaths through public education and defending your right of informed choice.
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March 2015 Astrology Forecast – Video

March 2015 Astrology Forecast – Video

10 Lessons I've Learned From A 10-Year Relationship

MARCH 1, 2015 5:21 AM EST


Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by your emotions that you said or did something you quickly came to regret? (Can anyone honestly deny this question?) The truth is, most of us could probably  Read
My partner and I began dating 10 years ago this past summer. It was love at first sight — I realized I knew him from not just a past life, but past lives.
We feel incredibly lucky to be close, simpatico soul mates. But we've also had our share of challenges, which have helped us grow.
Of course, there are always going to be obstacles in any relationship, and yet most of us often lose sight of this when thinking about what we hope our love lives will look like in the abstract.
In 10 years, I've learned these 10 essential lessons about being in a conscious relationship, and how to make the connection stronger every moment, challenges and all:
1. Make sure you fall (and keep falling) head over heels in love with each other.
Staying present in your relationship will allow you to tune into the moments of magic that occur again and again. If you keep your vision focused and your mind present, there will always be moments to fall in love again and again, too. Things like chopping veggies side by side, or even disagreeing about couch colors can all be opportunities to recognize what it is you are drawn to, and attached to, in your partner.
A long-term relationship thrives when you continue to fall in love with each other. I've learned to look for and tell my partner what I love about him in all sorts of contexts. The element of surprise is always a thrill, but it also keeps us both feeling stable and safe.
2. Appreciation goes a much longer way than we assume.
Appreciation is the sap in the tree of your relationship. Appreciate each other for big and small things, whether it's support with a difficult work situation or sweeping the decks.
When you make the deliberate effort to show appreciation for your partner, it's a gesture of staying present and remembering the origins of your connection in the first place. Who doesn't want to feel reminded that they are special and valued? I've learned to nourish my relationship with lots of thank you's, smiles and deliberately long hugs.
3. Talk it out. No matter what.
Talking about good things is easy. We don't have to be reminded to have fun with each other when things are going smoothly. Obviously, it's much harder to talk about uncomfortable dynamics that may be unspoken. But just because it's difficult doesn't mean it shouldn't be done. Breathe through the discomfort, and know that talking will ultimately release the tension.
My partner and I process the mundane, the gritty and the profound. Sharing our emotional lives makes us feel close and connected.
4. Have lots of sex because ... why wouldn't you?!
Sex is the glue in a healthy, vibrant romantic relationship. Without sex, a romantic relationship is simply a very close friendship, which is a great thing. But it's important to sustain desire, passion and lust in order to keep your relationship thriving and dynamic.
Couples who touch each other often, whether it be a foot massage or a caress, are more connected. Touch triggers oxytocin, the "love hormone," increasing trust and generosity.
Sex is a wonderful way to play with power and aggression while being honest and vulnerable. In long-term relationships where sex has its seasons, we've learned to keep things fresh by being fully present and talking about our needs and desires.
5. Fight with kindness and compassion.
When you're hurt, rejected or angry it can be so easy to let that whip-like barb fly off your tongue, withdraw or shut down.
I've learned to be fully present with my negative feelings when they arise. Then, as kindly and compassionately as I'm able, I share them in a way my partner can hear me. When I care about and respect his feelings and truth, however different, he's more receptive to what I say than if I allow my feelings to build into resentment.
6. Allow your partner to be their wildest self.
When a couple comes together, it's like two universes combining into one.
Each person has an individual history — passions, skills, interests, desires, wounds, an inner child. When the combination is harmonious, it's blissful. In the moments where tensions arise, it's like oil and water.
Have I wanted to change my partner? Yes, a thousand times. But I've learned spacious love is knowing and loving all of my partner. Especially when I disagree with and struggle to understand him — because I choose to love the wild truth of who he is.
7. Understand how your partner is your mirror.
You fall in love with someone because you're similar, because your differences complement each other, because the other person has qualities you unconsciously desire for yourself. The dynamic is different for every relationship, but there is always some kind of mirroring that goes on between two people.
I tend to put myself in a care-taking role, which is often what I want to do. But I also need to take care of myself. And sometimes, the act of care-taking can make me resentful. So I've learned to know and assert my needs making me happier and more fulfilled. Getting to know the dynamics at play will help you communicate about when they aren't serving the health of the relationship.
8. Laugh and play together
Laugh, adventure and play keep your relationship bubbling and alive. Relationships can get stale when play diminishes. Mix things up with new couple activities to keep your chemistry alive.
Everyone has their own definition of fun. My partner and I explore the world and rediscover each other on mountain trails, island travels, and spiritual getaways. Do what works for you.
9. Recognize the growth potential in difficult times.
When my partner had a health issue for four years, I supported him but deeply missed the carefree man with whom I fell in love.
As a therapist, I know every challenge holds an unborn gift. I used those four years to take care of myself. I mined for my truth, developed my creativity and work, and reclaimed my inner strength.

My partner healed in four years, which we now know was a vision quest, where he needed to "withdraw" in every way including from me to upgrade himself and his work. We enjoy each other in a whole new way now. Sometimes, it's healthy for two people who are together to experience separate paths of growth. Just because it's difficult doesn't mean there isn't beauty in the experience.
10. Never stop being YOU.
Your relationship is about you. It's about being the best you. I've learned to show up and open to myself and to my partner, rather than trying to be the person I think I should be.
It's incredibly empowering to let go of the expectation that your partnership will ever be perfect. The growth, the magic, is in how we respond to difficulty and grow together — as individuals and as a partnership alike. 
Photo Credit: Stocksy
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